The RBG Files- Part 1

Aight... I know you're all probably tired as hell of me talking about this man, but I need a little assistance in deciphering the meaning behind things...

Some things have taken place in the last 3 days, and I don't want to read the shit wrong, in case I'm on some old hopeful romantic shit and not seeing what it is for real. So ya'll help me, k?

First thing, more often than not, I hear the word "WE" come out of his mouth.. and not on some "We need to go get some food" or "We were sitting here listening to some music"... No... the "WE" I keep hearing is on some "If we had a house together..." or "If we were married..." or "When we have a kid..." Now, maybe it's just me, cause it could very well just be me, but that sounds a little... attached... like he sees a "WE" instead of just a RBG and JVH that just happen to know one another... Ion't know...

Tuesday evening, after I got off of work, my cell phone rings... it's RBG like "I wanna come over" I'm all like "R, you gotta go to work at like no o'clock in the AM and I'm off tomorrow..." He's like "I wanna spend some time with you." Wha? You wanna spend some time with me, do ya? That's the VERY first time I heard that come out of his mouth... so anyways, he came over, I cooked dinner (spaghetti, my specialty)... we ate, listened to music, played video games... and talked... like for real talked... and he was telling me that he couldn't see me not being in his life in any capacity, however he feelis like he's not good enough for me... like some straight financial shit... like "I can't take care of you the way I want to"... I asked him how does he know that? It's not about MONEY, cause EVERYBODY is broke out here (I mean, we do live in CLEVELAND, OH the POOREST CITY in the damn COUNTRY)... all he keep saying was "You don't need me"...

So... it's about you being NEEDED is it? Just because I pay all my own bills and drive a cheap ass '07 Focus I don't need you? No, I don't need any money from you, but what about other stuff I might NEED from you? Like the shit that we already share, dumb ass? Like FREINDSHIP, COMPANIONSHIP, LOVE... don't get me wrong, in a committed relationship, finances are truly important, but that's not the ONLY thing that's important!!!

Okay, I got a little sidetracked... moving on...

That night, he and I of course did the grown up thing... but something was different... I don't know, cause like I said, it could really just be me... it was more passionate... for a man who told me when we first met he didn't like to kiss to kiss me the entire time we were intimate... for somebody who always keeps his feelings to himself, to whisper them in my ear... for a man who has NEVER liked to cuddle to hold onto me the entire night... for him to not want to let me go when the alarm went off for him to go to work.... for him to get to work at 6:30 AM and then call me at noon to say he was leaving because he wanted to be with me... and stay with me the whole day... he went home around midnight Wednesday night... and called 4 times yesterday to just say "hi"...

Like I said... maybe it's just me... cause it really could just be me.... what u think?

J.