Am I A Glutton For Punishment?... Or just plain fucking STOOPID?...

Let me tell you why I ask am I said "Glutton For Punishment"...

Remember this entry? It's about a 5 year roller coaster ride of a relationship where I was stupid doormat for a nigga named Richard (who my cousin affecionately calls "Dick")...

In the last 25 days, I have practically been dumped by a convict, stalked by a 19 year old college student (LOOOONG story, another blog), dogged by another dimwit named Antoine (yet again, another blog), and then comes Dick...

So, this past weekend, I went to go see Dick... I know I know, bad move... believe it or not, he and I still talk, and are still cool... and I'm sorry, but, the dick is good, so I had to get some... forgive me, but why go through trial and error with another when I can go straight to a person who knows EXACTLY what to do... I mean, I did fuck this dude on a regular basis for 5 damn years and everything...

And here's where things get a little sticky...

This particular night... something he said got me all aflutter... he was like "You've been really patient with me and I've been doing some of the most ignorant shit to you, and I want to apologize. I want to know what you want to do about us. You've been waiting to long for me to get it together..."

Now... had this been about 2 years ago, I would have probably jumped on this niggas lap and been like "Let's get married RIGHT NOW"... though, jokingly (I think) he did say "Let's go downtown and get married on Monday." I looked at him like "For real?" He was laughing, but he did say "Yeah, let's get married"... don't know if it was a joke or not...

I've seen him every other day since... talk to him for hours everyday that I don't see him... he bought me groceries (I just moved)... I don't know.... maybe it'll work this time.... I'm being super cautious... or should I just be like "Nah, dude... I'm done with you."

I do still care for this dude...

Damnit.

I am fucking retarded.... they say love makes you stupid...

J.