Commentary: The Man Shortage for Sisters is All Too Real – And It's Killing Our Communities
Date: Monday, May 09, 2005
By: David Person, BlackAmericaWeb.com

All these years, sisters have been right. There really is a man shortage.

I knew something was up, just judging by the shortage of brothers in the pews at church. But I thought it had more to do with our preferences for sleeping in or watching the game.

Based on the 2000 Census, though, we brothers really are outnumbered by black women, inside and outside of church. And it has nothing to do with games.

Overall, the census indicates that there are more than 18.1 million black females in the U.S., compared to nearly 16.5 million black males. Specifically among those who are 18 and over, the sisters outnumber us about 12.7 million to 10.9 million.

Some brothers undoubtedly will assume this is their chance to add more names and numbers to their Palm Pilots for late-night booty calls. Truth is, all of us –- the players included –- should probably be a bit more somber and cautious about the population imbalance between black men and black women. Experts are suggesting that the reasons why the sisters outnumber us aren’t anything to cheer about.

According to an article written by Jonathan Tilove and published recently in many of the Newhouse papers, violence, crime and disease are some of the key factors stripping black communities of men. Worse still, the article concluded that the shortage of black men is hitting major cities with high concentrations of black folk particularly hard.

In Philadelphia, for example, black men are outnumbered by black women by 37 percent. That means that for every 100,000 black men in the City of Brotherly Love, there are 137,000 black women. In New York, for every 100,000 black men, there are 136,000 black women.

In Chicago, my hometown, for every 100,000 brothers, there are 132,000 sisters. In Chocolate City -– Washington, D.C. for those of you uninitiated to the funk -– for every 100,000 brothers, there are 129,000.

Yes, brothers, that means there are a whole lot of black women without dates. But before salivating, let’s remember that also means there are probably a lot of black boys without men in their lives to show them how real men behave. That’s a lot of black girls without daddies to teach them what real love is and how a woman is supposed to be treated by her man.

Looking at it like that, merely entering new names and numbers in those BlackBerrys for future hook-ups seems almost trivial.

Brothers, I’m not suggesting that we black men who are single and eligible can’t enjoy the dating life. I’m just saying that we also must do something more: We must see what these numbers tell us about the challenges facing our communities and make some decisions about what we can do to bring a bit more balance to them.

Tilove’s article quotes 2002 Census figures which indicate that while black women outnumber black men by 26 percent, white women only outnumber white men by 8 percent. If we were looking at those kinds of numbers, I’d be one of the first ones telling the players to just play on.

But we’re looking at a crisis that points to serious problems. If we’re not being shot and killed, we’re being locked up. If we’re not being locked up, we’re dying prematurely due to stress or HIV/AIDS or diabetes or heart disease or prostate cancer.

I agree with the experts who argue that it is inherently more stressful being black in the U.S. than it is to be white. But brothers, there are ways to offset the pressures.

Slow down on the super-sized meals with all that red meat and fat and excess sugar. Exercise several times a week. Get enough sleep. Lay off the smokes, and cut back on the brews and shots.

Take time to just go and chill. Cue up some jazz, funk, classical or gospel music in the mp3 player, and take long walks in the evenings or early mornings. Or pop some Miles, Victor Wooten or Jill Scott in the CD player and take a leisurely drive.

Let’s try to live healthy, functional lives. Avoid violence and people who are prone to it. Step away from shady activities that keep us out in the streets and in harm’s way. And by all means, brothers, no high-risk, indiscriminate sex with multiple partners.

For the sake of our communities, our women, our children and our futures, we’ve got to defy these statistics. We must begin surviving and thriving.


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