101 Things About Me...

1. Full Given Name Jessica Vanessa Valentine

2. Birthday August 5th 1975 (kicking 30 in da ass!!)

3. I have 2 older brothers and an older sister.

4. I have a 2 year old daughter by the name of Shari T'mya Chaney... born September 21st, 2002...

5. I have 4 neices and a nephew (and 2 more neices and 3 nephews by default thanks to my brother's fertile ass girlfriend-- she has 5 kids, 5 baby daddies... don't ask...)

6. My favorite color is green; favorite to wear is white.

7. Everytime I wear white I eat or drink something red that gets all over it somehow. Never fails.

8. When I was little, my mother used to always make me wear pink, which made me hate it. I didn't wear pink again by choice until I was 22 years old.

9. My favorite T.V. show is Law And Order. That includes all spin-offs.

10. I am addicted to Court TV.

11. I'm also addicted to VH1 reality TV... it's like watching a train wreck... you don't really want to look, but you just HAVE to...

12. I still video tape music videos.

13. I never finished college.

14. I feel like a complete asshole because I never finished college.

15. I love to read.

16. I can't read anything while moving. No books on a long trip, no maps in the car... I'll get car sick.. strange, I know...

17. I love grapes but cannot stand grape jelly, grape kool-aid, grape candy, or grape soda... it's just not right...

18. I like tomatoes but not ketchup.

19. I have an unhealthy addiction to bath and body products... Bath and Body Works, Vicky Secret, Avon, K-Mart... if it smells good, I'll buy it... I have enough crap to smell like something different everyday for about 4 months.

20. I have asthma.

21. Even with asthma, I still smoke Newports faithfully (half a pack daily).

22. I stopped smoking weed when I was 22 years old... I just can't do it anymore. I think I'm just over it.

23. Once I tried Ecstacy. Only once. It was fun, but I'm over it.

24. I never wanted to try any other drugs. None.

25. I've been in love for real for real 4 times. 1 cheated, 1 pulled a gun on me, 1 vanished into thin air, 1 continuously breaks my heart every time I see him...

26. I've been writing poetry since I was 12 years old, but wouldn't dare call myself a poet.

27. I write short stories, well, novels. I have started 4. None of them are finished.

28. I've kissed a woman. More than once... Not that smooch shit either... I'm talking hot, heavy, tongue kiss... and it is erotic as hell...

29. I've had a total of 4 threesomes in my lifetime. 2 of each, if you know what I mean...

30. I watch and own all types of porn.

31. I own all kinds of sex toys... they're my friends!

32. I've never been shy at all in my life. Quiet, yes. Shy, no.

34. It takes alot to make me angry.

35. My cousin Michelle is one of my best friends... even though I never see her anymore!! She's in the Chi. Maybe I'll visit her this Spring...

36. I am also very proud of my cousin, and brag about her smart ass all the time.

37. When I'm sick, I'll take all kinds of medication and lay in the bed and whine for a few days.

38. I used to shoplift everything imaginable when I was younger. And never got caught.

38. I love old school hip hop and 90's R&B.

39. My fave song is "The Beautiful Ones" by Prince.

40. My fave hip Hop gem is "Microphone Fiend" by Eric B and Rakim.

41. I love Wu Tang Clan. No, I don't think you heard me... I LOVE WU TANG.

42. My fave member of Wu Tang is Inspectah Deck.

43. Fave Wu Tang song is "Triumph" from the "Wu Tang Forever" double CD.

44. I used to have a really big crush on Ghostface.

45. Speaking of celebrity crushes, I used to have a crush on Redhead Kingpin, Kwame, Devante Swing from Jodeci, Tony Thompson from Hi Five... I'm gonna stop because this is letting you all know how corny I was...

46. I love Usher.. . talk about me if you want... I'm sticking to my guns... I have loved Usher since the "Can U Get With It" days.

47. The first cassette tape I ever owned was the Purple Rain Soundtrack.

48. My mother took that tape from me after hearing her 9 year old daughter singin "Darling Nikki" word for word... go figure.

49. The first hip hop album I owned was "It's A Big Daddy Thing" Big Daddy Kane.

50. The first album I ever bought with my own money was "Don't Be Cruel" Bobby Brown.

51. I was a virgin until I was 16 years old.

52. I lost my virginity to one of my former best friend's boyfriend... might explain why she and I were never friends after that....

53. I got married on March 12, 1998.

54. I got rid of that nigga April 27, 1999.

55. My mother is my inspiration. She is all things to me... even though I'd probably never tell her that...

56. I love Italian food.

57. Favorite alchoholic drink is a 1800-- straight, not crooked-- with a Heineken.

58. The last time I went out of state was December 2003... before that, it was February 1994...

59. I really enjoy sleep. If I could do it and get paid, that would be my ideal job.

60. I am a diabetic.

61. I'm supposed to be taking 1500 milligrams of Metformin a day to regulate it.

62. I say supposed to, because I don't do it.

63. I'm very hardheaded when it comes to health and exercise.

64. I've considered suicide at least 4 times since I was 15 years old.

65. I attempted suicide 1 of those times... I was 24 years old.

66. I honestly think I need counseling and medication for depression. Seriously.

67. I have a HUGE crush on Allen Iverson. I have for as long as I can remember.

68. I also think Melyssa Ford is for real hot.

69. I think people tend to take my quiet nature for granted. Just because I don't talk much, doesn't mean I'm a pushover.

70. People who beat around the bush get on my nerves. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Do what you do regardless of who says what. DAMN!

71. Tell you how I flirt... if I see a guy I like at say, a club or a party, I write my number on a napkin or piece of paper, walk up behind dude, and stick it in his front pocket... and walk away. No words... for what? They are always intrigued... so they always call. Hasn't failed me yet. The minute it does, I'll stop doing it.

72. I'm a likable person.

73. People think I'm funny.

74. I used to do spoken word, it really wasn't me.

75. I'm hurt that the poetry group my cousin and I were in fell apart...

76. I used to want to star in porn films

77. My fave movie is, and will always be, "Purple Rain"

78. I also love "The Princess Bride" and "Cooley High".

76. I don't think I'll ever have a boyfriend that I'll love as much as I loved the idiot who just recently broke my heart.

77. I love video games.

78. I love soul food.

79. I've been wearing glasses since I was 7 years old.

80. My favorite phrase is "So listen to this...", hence the name of the blog...

81. I tend to obsess about if I'll ever have more kids.

82. My neice and nephew (my brother's oldest 2) think of me as their mother more than his girlfriend.

83. I wish I had more friends.

84. I don't like dealing with the public.

85. I work in customer service for an Insurance Company... so much for not liking to deal with the public.

86. I want to work for a record label.

87. I hate doing the dishes.

88. I walk around outside with no shoes like I live in the sticks somewhere all the time.

89. I am terrified of death. Amazing for someone who tried to take herself there, huh?

90. I'm not really religious, but I am spiritual.

91. I am anal about my CD's. They have to be in alphabetical order at all times.

92. I am a the biggest flirt I know.

93. I adore my family.

94. Nosey people annoy the shit out of me.

95. Stupidity urks the hell out of me.

96. I think that I should really be famous. Paris Hilton doesn't have any marketable talent and she's famous... why can't I?

97. I never worked at any fast food restaurant. They wouldn't hire me.

98. I love baby tees that say funny shit. My favorite one says "REQUIRES CONSTANT SUPERVISION".

99. I am VERY spoiled. Blame my momma.

100. I sometimes feel like my life is spinning out of control. I told you, I need therapy.

101. It took me a month to finish this list...

Well, there you have it... all about me. All 101 self destructive details.