Well, what do you know about that?
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Idiocy...

So... this past Friday, I drove over 80 miles...again... there and back... to see LeDon.

I probably shouldn't have donee that.

No, I take that back, because I did it for a reason. Well, 2 reasons. My main reason was because Keyshauna had not been to see her father since May, and since I'm the only person with notarized permission to take her, I told her that I would.

My second reason, purely selfish of course, was basically because I miss him. Sure, he's an idiot, sure he's hurt me. That doesn't change the fact that I miss him. And we actually had a conversation about all that has transpired in the last few months. Now, I'm a firm believer in actions speak louder than words. There's not much "action" he can give while incarcerated, so I guess words will have to do.

I asked about Monique. I mean, this is something that I need to know. What the deal is for real with him and Monique. His response: She has some boyfriend, has completely ignored him for the last 3 or 4 months, and has moved without a forwarding address. He SAYS he could care less what she does, and that he doesn't want to be with her. He SAYS his main focus is yours truly. That when he comes home he's going to make sure he does everything to make me happy, because I make him happy. He says I'm the love he has been looking for his entire life. He says that he had never received love like this and didn't know what to do with it, bt now he understands and wants to cherish and love me to the best of his ability...

Sounds good, right?

I'm skeptical. And I feel like I have every right to be. Of course, he doesn't understand that. He says he wants to make the relationship work. We shall see.. I'm taking it slow, because I don't know what to make of it. I don't want to be the sideline, I want to be the main line...

Which brings me to my next issue...

RBG. Okay, so I've been dealing with this on again, off again bullshit for going on 6 damn years. I know I need to let it go. I KNOW this. He is a confusing creature. I honestly don't know what to do when it comes to him. Like, for real. When I don't talk to him, it feels sort of empty. Probably because we are such good friends. It's when the romanticism comes into play when things get a little shaky... we are so good together, we know each other like the back of our hand... so much so we can finish each other's sentences. EVERYBODY around us thinks that wewould be perfect together.. but it means shit if he can't see it. It means absolutely NADA if he doesn't believe it.

The other night, he told me that having me in his life was a blessing. I told he he didn't mean it. He says "Why wouldn't I?". So I rebutted with "Well, how about you don't mean it like I would want you to." To which he had nothing to say for a few seconds. He then says "We'll talk about it when I see you." Which I know is bullshit, because when I bring up anything remotely close to this particular conversation, he tosses up the infamous brick wall and shuts the fuck down. Like he's afraid of letting his emotions go. How are we supposed to get anywhere if he doesn't fucking communicate? GRRRRRRRRRRR...

I'm beginning to give myself a headache... I'm out...

J.

Randomness...

THE.LAST.PERSON:

1. You hung out with?Falona and Keyshauna
2. Rode in a car with?Same as Above
3. Went to the movies with?Keyshauna
4. Went to the mall with? Me, Myself and I
5. You talked on the phone to?My nephew
6. Made you laugh? Falona's crazy ass
7. You told and/or they told you they Loved you? LeDon

W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue?tongue
2. Be serious or be funny? Funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk?whole
4. Die in a fire or get shot? Shot
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Parents

A N S W E R . T R U T H F U L L Y

1. Do you like anyone? They know wo they are...
2. Sun or moon? Moon
3. Winter or Fall? Fall
4. Left or Right? Right
5. 10 acquaintances or two best friends?2 bestfriends
6. Sunny or rainy? Rainy, for so reason
7. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?Vanilla

A B O U T . Y O U

1. What time is it? 7:11
2. First Name?: Jessica
3. Where do you wanna live? Anywhere where I am surrounded by the peope I love and who love me
4. How many kids do you want? Maybe 3
5. Do you want to get married? Yes
6. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?twirl
7. Have you ever eaten spam? I doubt it
8. Favorite ice cream? Turkey Hill Banana Split Ice Cream
9. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? 3
10. Do you cook? A little something
11. Current mood? A little sad...

I N . T H E . L A S T . 48 H O U R S . H A V E . Y O U
1. Kissed some one? Yes
2. Sang? Yes
3. Been hugged?yes
4. Felt stupid? Yes
5. Missed someone? Yes, horribly
6. Danced Crazy? Yeah... me and Keyshauna
8. Gotten your hair cut? No
9. Cried?Yes, like a little baby... I went to see LeDon today and now I'm sad because I had to leave him...
10. Lied: Nah...

S T U F F

1. What is your favorite color? Green
2. Do you have a Dog? Yes. A cockapoo named Cookie.
3. When's the last time you've been sledding? Never have
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? Someone else, I hate sleeping alone.
5. Do you believe in ghosts? I believe in the strong possibility....

Levert - Baby I'm Ready

I remember you Gerald... Cleveland's Own... You will be eternally missed...

DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!!!




Cleveland, OH - Breaking news this midday.

19 Action News has learned that R&B singer Gerald Levert has died suddenly - at the age of 40 - from a heart attack.

****I'll have more info later today....

Nas - Hate Me Now ft Diddy

Nuff Said... Holla!

Funny Shit...

So... as you may have noticed, there is moderation in the comments now... there is a reason for that. Complete and utter stupidity of other people. I thought maybe that since I didn't allow anonymous comments, I wouldn't have to worry. Oh no, she took the time and effort to create a Blogger profile. I know Peach, Juli, and I feel VERY special. Thank you for the flattery.

Below is the comment DATGIRL left in response to my last entry. Honestly, it made me laugh out loud. I mean, almost lost my breath laugh out loud. You'll see my response afterward...
----------
Bitch ass trick PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

You over-muth-fuckin-weight-no-life-havin-inmate-lovin-yuck-mouth-havin-couldn't-get-a-real-man-to-save-her-life-havin-UGLY-AS-ALL-HELL-TRICKBITCH!

You hoes get dumber as the days grow shorter. Here's a thought, get a real life then you wouldn't have to blog. This is all some short lived entertainment for me, so I have every intention on checkin each and every one of you bitchs whenever I get a chance.

Now...

Peach- You're ugly, probably on the top ten of the ugliest people that I have ever seen. You're a good for nothing half ass momma. And should really seek some help. I like it how when tricks like you get stuck and you decide to leave it in the God's hands but any other time you bitchs do something conniving to fix it. That boy of yours is gonna be one fucked up ass adult with you as his "mom." Though you can't really be called that. SMDH- white bitch, wanting to raise a black man. Trick Please!! So now that you bitchs are surely feeling as dumb as you are maybe you'll make some changes?

Doubt it, not smart enough for that!

Holla at cha girl
------------

First, I'm actually flattered that you would take the time out of your obviously busy schedule to read my blog and state the damn obvious in an effort to put me down. It's like I said before, hun, I could care less what you have to say about my life. It's MINE and I'm living it. You might want to start doing the same with yours.

You see, I'm not anywhere near ashamed of the decisions I've made in my life. yeah, some of them may not have been the proper choice at the time, but all choices have made me who I am, and I am thankful.

Short lived entertainment? Sure it is. I'm sure that this whole thing is just your little way of releasing frustration. That's fine. Unleash your wrath on unsuspecting bloggers that could really care less what you think. Especially when you spew racist, uneducated, dim-wittied slurs at them.

Did you really think calling me a bitch would make me mad? I've been called a bitch more times than I can count. It's just a word. Yeah, I love an inmate. So what? He's made mistakes, like most human beings, and is paying for them. It doesn't change the fact that he's a beautiful person. Overweight? Nah, but once upon a time, I was. Yuck mouth? That's funny. Have you ever seen me in person? If you had, you'd know better. My ability to find a man is none of your concern. Ugly? If you say so, baby girl. Your opinion of my physical will never change my self image. I thought you knew. And really, no one HAS to blog... just like you don't HAVE to read them. You choose to, you can also chose NOT to. And I don't know who the hell you think you've "checked" or made to feel "dumb". Learn how to write a coherent sentence, Miss Pre Med, and then maybe, just MAYBE, I might consider what you have to say viable.

As for you comments about Peach, I'll let her do what she will about that. She's grown as hell and doesn't need me to get into that.

And you can say what you want to say, just know that hater shit gets no play here. This is the last time your ignorance will be featured on this blog.

J.

I CANNOT Believe the IGNORANCE of some people...

You know... I was simply going to ignore this madness and move on with life... but I have to post about it. I HAVE to. It wouldn't be right if I didn't.

I was reading my girl Peach's blog this AM and ran across some comments that literally made my skin crawl. No seriously. It's the type of thing that you read and be like "Is this person REALLY this fucking stupid?"

Now, granted, my comments in response may have perpetuated the bullshit, but whatever... I was really just being silly, until she put me in it, on some straight disrespectful shit.

**Yeah, we found it's a SHE. Not suprising, actually, because men don't usually take the time to act this petty. They would rather play Madden or NBA Live on their XBOX.**

So, for your viewing and reading pleasure, I would actually like to elaborate on the comments I left on Peach's blog to this fool, in case she decides she wants to visit MY blog now. I honestly don't really care what she has to say about my life, because the details are posted here in cyberspace for all to see. If I cared about anyone's opinion of my personal business, I wouldn't post my personal business for the world to read. My life is MINE, and I live it the way I want to. Anybody who doesn't like it, frankly, can kiss my high yellow ass, click that lovely "X" in the upper right corner, and forget "So Listen To This" even exists. I probably shouldn't even give this bitch this much shine, but I gotta get this off my chest...

And I don't allow anonymous comments, so, if you got something to say, you better have a Blogger profile.

Let's start with the comments.... My comments will be orange... Ig'nant Person will be red...

Lord...

Let us pray...

Please forgive those who have no idea what they speak of. Please give us the itelligence to ignore idiocy and prejudice, for I know that you love all you created. We have no reason to be ashamed of who we are, what we do or have done, nor the things that we choose that make us happy. Everyhting and everyone in this world is yours and NO ONE can change that.

Please fill the heart of "not like that mf today!! " with understanding and the love they may not be getting from home. Also, please let them know that anonymous comment on a blog that they obviously enjoy reading is not only childish, but very sad. Oh, and please, Lord, give them spellcheck and a thesaurus.

In your Holy Name,
Amen...

**I think that about covers it...

Maybe he/she/it didn't comment on me cause I'm a black girl... but that could just be me... because ignorance is colorblind.

You know what I think? It's either a black man who got done COMPLETELY wrong by a white girl... or a black girl who's man was stolen by a white girl... I don't know... cause there's some animosity up in here that is totally unnecessary.

--------------

First of all....

I am a strong, beautiful intelligent, pre-med, black woman! I just get sick to my stomach when I see, read, or hear about nasty white girls like Peach, offherrocker, and wanna be white broads like miss jessi, so I chose this time to share my piece. I have white homegirls who down right put you nasty bitches to SHAME. Peach, real deal, all you will ever be is a nigga's baby's mama! Offherrocker, find a new friend, loose some weight, and gain some dignity. Miss Jessi, sorry sweety but you will always be black GET USE TO IT!!!

And since inquiring sluts like ya'll wanna know. My husband is just as disgusted with the site of a blue eyed slut devil as I and has never and will touch one. I just wanted to put you bitches in your place, and now that I have done that, get it on with your life and change something!!!

But really though Peach.... be a mom, not a slut, stop givin your dough away and maybe they'd respect you more, stop CHASING men, and let them chase you, and most of all GET SOME RESPECT FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR KID. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holla at cha girl!

-------------

Ah yes... the moment I've been waiting for... because I did know it was coming...

First of all, sweetie... I have absolutely no problem with being the STRONG, BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT Black QUEEN that I was born to be, so get that together, Boo... I'm not trying to be anyone but me. Also, any EDUCATED Black woman would have better things to do with themselves than to sit an type nasty comments about someone they don't know... if Peach and Juli bother you so fucking much, why do you keep coming here? Huh? Oh, cause you ain't got shit better to do than to degrade a PERFECT FUCKING STRANGER... but I digress...

And as far as putting ANYONE in their place, last time I checked, the only being that can judge ANYONE is the Lord above... and you, my dear, are not God, so keep it moving... what you are sharing are OPINIONS, and an opinion is just like an asshole, everybody's got one, and most of the time it's full of shit...

There is nothing wrong with being proud of who you are and proud of your race. I am. However, in my experience, when someone disrespects and degrades another, it is because in some way, there is something about them that they see in themselves that they can't stand... chew on that for a while, honey.

I'm out...
J.

-------------------

Miss Jessi,

You're an embarrasment. Get off your high and mighty little white horse, and drop the "praise Jesus" front.*SMDH* Cussin and frontin like you something, BITCH PLEASE! As I'm sure all you bloggers know, all sins are equal in the eyes of God, so while you saying prayers and shouting for the Lord, remember the front you put on when he sends yo fake as to the flames of hell! Your fakeness is the same as any outright sinner.

But hey at least I'm real about mine. And oh since "Also, any EDUCATED Black woman would have better things to do with themselves than to sit an type nasty comments..." what the fuck do you do??? Bitch you blog!! At least I check out blogs on my break from studying at work, instead of devoting my life to it like you sorry tricks.

Also, "if Peach and Juli bother you so fucking much, why do you keep coming here? Huh? Oh, cause you ain't got shit better to do than to degrade a PERFECT FUCKING STRANGER... but I digress..." I chose to comment on slutbag 1 and 2 because I've checked out their blogs before and since obviously no one in there lives gives a damn about them enough to tell these whores to get right I thought I'd take on that task.

So now that I have checked faketrick 1, I just want you broads to know that all that I have said is out of geniuine concern for the state of our country. If tricks and hoes like you continue to procreate, and raise our children we will have another generation of you bitchs!! And no one wants that! Trust!

Holla at cha girl!

-------------------

So... now I'm angry, because obviously, bitch, you think you're smart enough to know what's good for EVERY DAMN BODY. I got something to say to you, cause I know you're reading....

First of all, don't act like you know any one of us. Don't act like you know anything about what brought us to these points in our lives, because frankly, you don't. You have no clue about how I was raised, where I went to school, or any of that. Don't think for one second that you are BETTER or SMARTER than any one person on this planet. If you feel blessed, good for you, but understand that when blessings are abused they are taken away. That's not something I think, baby girl, it's something I know. We are ALL created equal. The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be.

Now... I'm not on any high horse, but you are. What gives you the right to judge? A little schooling doesn't make you the one to decide what's right for ANYBODY... only what's right for YOU. You are trying to force your blind, narrow-minded ignorance on people who never asked for your bullshit opinion in the first place. I don't know what could have happened to you in your life that would make you lash out on people with such nonsense, but whatever. It's not my job to counsel you. You might want to seek out professional help for your anger issues, though...

The embarrasment is you. Prejudice is something that Black people have dealt with fior centuries, and here you are, blaring to the world just how prejudice you are. This COUNTRY that you speak so proudly of is full of a melting pot of people, who all deserve the same respect that you want people to give to you. You have to give it to get it. And who's being fake? Curse words are just that, dumb ass, WORDS. It's all a part of the English language.

And so what I blog? It's fucking HOBBY. Kinda like sewing or reading. It's something to fucking DO. Do you have a hobby? Or is being a simple minded asshole the best you could come up with?

But, like I said before, it's not my job to counsel you. Just like you don't have to listen to me. Really doesn't matter.

J.

Justin Timberlake - My Love

Understand this is one of the best videos in a long time.... I luhs me some Justin...

Nauseous....

So... I know I probably threw everybody off with my last entry... but the shit be true... Nothing has been confirmed as of today's date, but I know I'm not crazy... and I know my body is flipping the fuck out....This all started I wanna say Saturday...

We all went out Friday Night to celebrate my cousin's b-day... a little barhopping, a little drinking (Silver 1800 of COURSE)... Saturday morning, I awoke to what I thought would be your normal hangover.... oh HELL no it wasn't....

4 days later, I STILL can keep absoulutely NADA on my stomach (well, maybe a cracker or two)... cigarette smoke makes me throw up... I can barely keep my eyes open, I have a slight temp... my boobs hurt so bad I feel like they are about to fall off... cramps... headache...

Now, I did take a HPT, which was negative... however I'm not convinced... cause my period's not due for 3 days... and I heard that HPTs never work this early...

I don't know what the hell's going on here... somebody HELP ME!!!

J